Closing of a Season... a New one Begins :)

hello world.

i wrote a whole thing out that was quite raw and intense... 

but i erased it...  

Felt like it's to be shared at another time.... 

so on another note!

it's been an exciting season.

i'm baffled by God's leadership in my life.

five months ago He asked me to leap another direction that seemed opposite of my dreams.

little did i realize that He planned to truly change my life..

i feel like as I have chosen to step away from the familiar it has given me perspective to really see things as they truly are...   

COMING ALIVE

the other day i was walking through a golf course...  the sun was setting, and the mountains were looking blue on the horizon...  the grass was so lush and green...  and all of a sudden i found myself rolling around in that finely cut strip of lawn, just because i wanted to feel it on my skin...   

sounds very simple and random i know...  but in that moment i realized something had shifted in my heart...    i think i'm learning to LIVE..   i'm learning to ENJOY life...  

it's been a season of much rest... no agenda... living in an empty house all by myself..  reading the bible with fresh eyes...  daring to question what i have always heard was true...  

i am finding so much liberty in my heart...  as I quiet myself to listen to Truth from His Word and His Spirit, rather than just waiting on others to teach it to me..  or quickly jumping on the next ministry vision that is promised to be the bible being fulfilled before our eyes.... many times Christianity can be defined for us by teachers or thriving ministries...  yet we don't take the time to quiet ourselves to hear God ourselves...   

RESTING IS GOOD

i believe that taking a time where it's just you and Him is wise..

if you've been saturated in a ministry for a while...  giving yourself non-stop to something.

i would say that it's healthy to take break to put your heart before the Lord and to have Him show you if your ideas line up with the Word, and if your identity is in Him, or if it's in what you're doing for Him..   Find God for yourself my friends, hear the knowledge of His will as you sit quietly before Him in the secret place...  and maybe don't be so quick to facilitate how to execute His plan, but learn to agree with them in your heart behind closed doors.   

i feel so thankful to God that He interrupted my "plans" -- and asked me to go the opposite direction of what I was assuming was best....    I am so grateful for His wisdom...  i truly feel like He has changed my life.

AS I STEP FORWAD

I have questioned the Lord so many times this summer "God what is next, what do you have for me??"  I realized that I had to just embrace the moment and not plan ahead...  and in perfect timing He would show me the next step...  

I love the poetry of how it all unfolded...  

I decided that i was just going to get a job...  i felt like i would be moving back to colorado to work in the corporate world as an administrator to save money to finish my degree in business management and get some dental work done...     i was beginning to feel peace about this but wasn't telling a soul -- realizing that when i share my ideas to too many people it just creates confusion...     

then the unthinkable happened...

i had strategic dinner with a couple on a random tuesday night and everything changed..

A PREFACE.

before this dinner, i should give a backdrop..
i was in my favorite coffee shop with my sister.
i was basically yelling at her in a passionate Christian way about what greatness in the kingdom was..
i was in a swirl of sharing my opinions and questions, telling her that I think that having a platform ministry doesn't equate to greatness in the kingdom what so ever...  greatness is living the sermon on the mount...  etc. etc..

all the while there was an older man (a guy who is my dad's age) -- sitting next to us... every now and then i was looking over at his laptop to see if it was the new macbook pro with a retina screen because i want one so bad....  but then realized it wasn't a newer pro,  so i quit paying attention to him...

he got up and walked away, and my sister noticed an envelope he had that was showing his name...  she noticed the name and said "courtney, that guy is a missionary to ethiopia" -- my sis happened to have a good friend who knew this guy....   

so the guy walks back and i stop him in his tracks and i say "hey, do you have any advice for us?"  i knew that he could probably hear our conversation, so he should probably have some input about it.
he was kinda taken back by me asking this question....  but then we told him that we had mutual friends and that we knew he was a missionary in ethiopia...   he began to encourage us in the Lord and beckon us to give our hearts fully to Jesus...    then he asked us our stories, and both mary and i shared a little about why we were up in Idaho...

as i shared, i saw a light go on in his head...  just something shifted, where i knew he felt some sort of connection.  he then mentioned that his wife was in a similar season as me...  and that maybe someday my sis and i could have dinner with them and possibly pray together...   i kinda dismissed the idea not being so appealed by it, but nodded and agreed that i would be up for such a thing...  

weeks go by..

THE DINNER THAT SHIFTED ALL MY PLANS.

then my sister mary was like "that couple wants to have dinner with us on tuesday night.."

i have realized in these past four months in Idaho i have become quite introverted and I haven't exerted too much energy in making new friends...   i feel like it has gotten a bit unhealthy because i feel slightly anti-social and do not want to hang out with anyone other than my family, or people i know already -- i just don't want to invest in new relationships.  

so anyway... mary was really wanting me to go to this dinner and she said this couple was excited to meet up with me... i was pretty hesitant and told her that i would go, but i could only hang for a couple hours (i knew the tricks of the trade, and if i put a time limit, then I can get out quick and not feel pressured to stay longer than i wanted)...  she then disagreed with this idea, so then i just told her that i would drive separate so I could leave if she wanted to stay...  i know, i know, i sound like a jerk... but that's how i felt and i prob need to work on this a bit because sometimes it's a bit overboard..

earlier that day i was praying and felt like before i move to colorado -- i think i may go on a short trip...  it seemed a little random (i knew i wanted to go on a trip in May, but God shut the door... so i pretty much just let it go)....  but that day I just felt peace, like that could possibly happen..

so we drive to this couple's condo. their names are Mark and Sidney. 

these were people who lived in idaho for 18 years before they moved to Africa... 

they were extremely successful up here.  owning their own contracting business where he built multi million dollar homes for people on the lake, she ran a thriving women's ministry teaching woman how to live out Proverbs 31, they had a dream house in the fort grounds area of coeur d'alene, right by the lake -- such a beautiful area...  

they seemed to have quite the life from what i hear...   but then God called them to Ethiopia...so they closed down the contracting business, sold pretty much everything, and moved to ethiopia. 

as they spoke to me it crossed my mind that maybe I would go to ethiopia... i knew earlier that day i was thinking of going on a trip......  but Africa????  yikes... not my top choice...  I mean Europe, New Zealand, Israel...    maybe... but africa?  no way... too dirty, and too many bugs..   but i knew that i was thinking of a trip earlier that day, so I was wondering if this actually could be God...

so after a long evening with these people -- i woke up the next morning and prayed about it..
it was the craziest thing... after waiting for so long to hear where God wanted me to go next...  ethiopia seemed like it made so much sense...  this was quite shocking to my logic, but to my heart -- it just felt like it clicked.

so i hung around Sidney the next few days at a garage sale, and i was just so fascinated by this woman. she was bold, free spirited, and very sincere in Jesus...  she is business minded, elegant, and at the same time like mother theresa, so willing to get down and dirty and serve the poor and love the least of these... i have heard a lot about greatness, to go love the poor and go low... but to see someone who has given their lives to such a thing....  was so intriguing..   i knew i could learn so much just by being around this woman...  my connection with her seemed so divine, like it was destined for me to cross paths with her..   

so after much prayer...

i felt like God opened a big door for me to go LIVE in ethiopia for a while..

but it was a different kind of trip.  

He wasn't inviting me to go there with an ministry agenda like you would a "missions" trip..

He invited me to just go live there. and breathe the air.. to enjoy Him, and to listen to Him as I see His creation on the other side of the earth.... and from this place, learning to be open to let Him minister to those around me out of an overflow of "being".. 

this seemed like a different approach to me for sure -- but it seemed so right so I decided -- 

"I am going to go"!

THE POETRY IN IT ALL.

it was crazy because the day that I got the go ahead in my heart to make a decision happened to play part in a theme...   it was August 10th I decided to go to Africa, and two years ago on SAME DAY - August 10th, i decided to take the leap of faith to move from KC to Colorado...

it just made me feel the reality that God is SO involved...  He knew what my next step would be, but He kindly gave me the answer on August 10th...  He perfectly wrote my story, and it's exciting to see how unfolds it!  

though ethiopia wasn't in my grid of plans, I am realizing God kinda works that way...   when it seems so crazy an unexpected, it's not far off to think that God may be inviting us to an adventure we would have never imagined. 

THE PRACTICAL PLAN

so i will be heading to Ethiopia in two weeks..  Sept 12- Oct 16..  I will be living with Mark and Sidney Launder. 

They have a house in a village called Soddo.  They do not live in a compound like many missionaries would.  They actually live amongst the poor people... surrounded by mud huts...  they simply live life there, sharing the gospel to those they meet, loving on the poor, praying for the sick, and they show the Jesus Film to those in their surrounding area..  I will go and just be with them as they live... 

What's the plan after i get back?? Well, i feel like God doesn't want me to plan for after this trip -- I was tryingH to, and I quickly felt the familiar invitation from Him to not plan too far ahead...  that's how He's been doing it these days...

I am trying to raise $3000 for this trip -  I still have a ways to go.
If you'd like to sow financially into this trip... let me know..  It's a little different because usually you sow into what a person is "doing" -- but I would ask you to pray about sowing into "my life" and what God is wanting to reveal in Africa...   i am highly expectant that what He has in store is going to drastically impact my life....  

  

if you're interested in partnering with me financially please email me at burdeejewels@gmail.com

Time is a bit short -- I have two weeks to raise these funds, so know that any amount of $ is helpful :) 

Also another practical way to support is by buying super trendy earring from my etsy shop :)  This will all go towards helping me go to Ethiopia. You can find those here -->  Burdee Earrings! 

whoever is reading this -- thanks for taking the time to listem to my thoughts :) 

bless you guys!

-court