i'm about to ramble.. here goes.
learning to live in the moment.
it's easy for me to look forward and try to plan.
when i attempt to do so, clarity is slim.
i'm realizing that no matter what you're doing.
full time ministry or not.
there is always a driving thing in us trying to find purpose and significance aka "identity".
most christians who are sincere - have a hovering question in their hearts.
"what is my calling"?
most people do their mundane routine day by day... they are so busy they don't think of what their purpose is. but there are moments, where they are driving in the car, taking a walk, or right before bed when they blackout their iphone screen -- they begin to wonder "what am i doing with my life?" there has to be more to this?
it seems like there is this idea we have, where we need to reach a certain point in life where we have arrived to what we were destined for. and all the while we are neglecting the practical moments in front of us to invest in eternal greatness that will never be taken away.
why do we think going on mission trips for two months is more valuable in the eyes of God, than a mom at home who is cooking, cleaning, working hard for her husband day in and day out... and the husband forgets to pick up his socks after the millionth time... yet she chooses to love and be patient in that moment, sticking the socks in the hamper and blessing her husband instead?
why do we think leading worship for thousands of people equals greatness, and all the while we lend a person $20 and you better bet your bottom dollar that we won't let them forget it, until they pay us back every penny.. i mean, if you lend, shouldn't they return? uhhhh.
we get commended and bragged about when we have done things that seem "big" in our eyes.
it's not often you hear a mom getting publicly complimented for her constant selflessness.
you never really hear people giving props to the man who is poor in spirit, who hungers, mourns, and doesn't demand his right, in an introduction before he speaks at a church or conference.
selah...
i do believe that we are to do great exploits for God. yes yes yes. look at the new testament. booya! so much of that is in there -- it is an expression of the kingdom of God on the earth, and i know God wants it :) however, i do remember hearing Jesus say to those He sent out on "mission trips" -- "do not rejoice at the fact that spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that you're names are recorded in heaven."
big crowds are awesome. more people being impacted for the kingdom is AMAZING! Jesus is worthy of having eternal worshippers all over the earth...
i have an age old desire that wants to impact the globe.
heaven rejoices when a soul gets saved, so it's obviously an awesome thing and lines up with God's heart and desire to be one who evangelizes.. However we must realize that the teachers, pastors, evangelists, prophets and so on are "sons" first they are His "bride" and out of the overflow of that, they teach, preach, prophesy... So as i do things for God... I must know that this is an overflow from my life in God... my purpose is God.. i was made through Him and for Him... and from the overflow of being satisfied in Him alone, i will impact those around me..
I love when Jesus was baptized and when He came out of the water the Father thundered His voice and said "this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" -- Jesus was a carpenter.. and faithful to taking care of His mother... Wow what a dull life to most of us with high vision... Yet the Father, who has the perfect scale and balance says that Jesus was pleasing to Him.
i see so many people distraught as they are in wonder about their "calling in life" -- however, i am taking time to step back and wonder about this.... do you think God didn't give them the opportunity to live their calling now? to love Him with all their heart, soul mind and strength and to love others as He did, right now? or do they feel that doing that isn't the fulfillment of their calling? and it must be that in correlation with impacting the multitudes... or at least something that has value in our eyes of what is big for God?
God is so smart.. the sermon on the mount (matt 5, 6, 7) -- can be lived out by any human.... rich, poor, great, and small.. we all have the chance to be great in the kingdom (which lasts forever).... even if before the eyes of men it seems like we are losers.
i think sometimes there is a sneaky thing that can happen where we feel better about ourselves when we do things that seem big, and super selfless... and yet all the while we are stroking our wounded insecure hearts that have no clue who we really are in God...
Jesus. be our vision. then from that, we will impact the world.
amen.
