So this is about singleness.
Don't worry, i'm not writing some sappy letter for singles
to identify with. AND, I'm not going to be speaking in context of being older,
single and wanting to be married to an amazing man some day.
This entry is actually written to the families in
the body of Christ.
Whether young or old, children or no children, this note is to
help bring perspective of the reality of single people, whether man or
woman, and the true state they are in every day.
Most people haven't really thought about what i'm about to
explain, and know that it's not pointing a finger at the lack, but actually bringing light to the possibilities of impact - so please take a moment to entertain this idea for just a second.
I feel like single people are an easily overlooked people group in
the church. This may come as an intense statement, but I feel it’s something
that can be illuminated upon. where do singles fit in community? i think of the
history of mankind. people wouldn't leave their homes until they were married.
It seems God always had this plan to have people in families. He commissions
believers to take care of the orphans and the widows, for one main reason
– they didn’t have families.
The reality in our day is that we move out when we are 18. we
visit home every now and then. but everyone has their own, individual life. you
may see your real family once a year, if you live far away, or maybe every
couple weeks if you live in the same town. but the day to day. what does it
look like for a single person? well, most of the time, it looks like
being alone.
Some don't even realize they are unhappy with that aloneness until
they taste true hospitality and see they have been missing something. others do
realize they are missing something and sometimes out of pure vulnerability
share their feelings of loneliness, and what is the common response?
"Maybe God is trying to teach you something. You just need to
learn to be content in Him, and not need people so much.."
This is the last thing a single person wants to hear from people
who can't truly identify with what they're going through. yes, be content in
God, we get it. believe us, we get it. some have had years -
decades, to understand this.
I have to say, that though I would consider myself strong in the Lord, and have a
wonderful community. it's still a hard and awkward place to be when you're
single. Honestly, it can get extremely lonely.
And what do you do with that feeling? as a believer, you embrace the seasons of
God and trust Him - turning to Him and asking that He fill you up. there are
times, however, where it just feels like something has to be missing.
This isn't just feeling lonely and wanting a spouse. it's
feeling lonely and wanting a tribe to
run with.
Who are the forgotten ones? who are the ones that face life
by themselves?
We can think of the widows, and the orphans. but i don't think
it's typical to think about the few singles within the church.
I am confident God thinks of those single people. He has a plan
for them. A great plan to meet them in their aloneness... and He does it primarily
through families.
Psalm 68:8 says "The Lord sets the lonely in families.."
i have seen this with my own eyes. it's such a divine way He works
in the hearts of people. i have known a good amount of single people in my
life. Guess what the most influential thing has been in their life?
when families bring them in to be a part of their
routine.
Yes, when families consider them as their own and include them in
their story. the deep impact that this can make on a single person can never be
underestimated. I personally can think of many families who opened up their
doors and it played such a huge part in my life.
The priors // the valdez's // the lujans // the peakes // the
kreibhels //the keoughs // the laundérs // the canales
All of these families invited me in to be a part of their life,
and it richly blessed me beyond words. they could have easily chosen their own
life and comfort. They could have excused away feeding another mouth, or giving
me a space in their home to live. Instead, they opened their door to me and
said, "eat with us, drink with us, play board games with us, take a stroll
down the street with us, be a part of
our family."
It's these families who open up their homes whom really make an
impact on the random single people floating around..
Often, while you are sitting at your table with your children and
husband - it's quite likely the singles you know are chopping up their
vegetables in an empty house,
about to eat dinner by themselves. For some this is a choice, but
for most it is a reality that can't be avoided.
Are times like this okay? Of course. It is not inherently bad
to be alone. It can be refreshing after a long day. It can provide seasons of
growth and insight. however, if it's constant, it can wear on one’s soul. The
soul that God said in the beginning was not made to be alone.
In the midst of a group of believers, there should never be
chronic lonely people in a community. solitude is for a season, not for a
lifetime...
and so…
Don't forget about the single people in
your community.
Whether you're an old couple with no kids or a young couple with a
million. the impact you can play on the lives of singles is substantial. all it
takes is you inviting them along. rather than saying, "just embrace your
aloneness and turn to God," the reaction can be transformed into personal action that says, "come
over for dinner, you're always welcome in our home. we just really love having
you around"
Now that sounds like the gospel.
I know God wants to use families to
show the love of Christ.
It's as practical as inviting that person at church, before
they walk out the door to eat Sunday lunch by themselves, to an invitation into
your family afternoon. (note: sometimes they may be shy and insecure about coming along, but your consistency WILL win them over).
It’s as easy as praying and seeing what God says about the singles
in your community.
ask Him if there is one or two people you could invite to run
alongside you and your family.
As we seek to place the widows and orphans into a family, remember
the singles as well, they need it too.
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