well. 

i am at my house.

the house i have one more week in.

until i move to another.

sad sad.

but it will be okay.

i have changed roomies and housing a million times in life.

great house, great people -- good season here in kc.

now for the next chapter.

summer is basically here.

doesn't really feel like i though.

it has been grey outside for 3 weeks.

but just got sunny yesterday - so now i'm feeling it a bit.

i've been sick though.

so for the past two days i haven't really been outside.

just laying here.

trying to rest, knowing it's best for me.

(but i keep eating these sweet potato chips, not sure if those are good for me...haha)

i'm about to move into a house full of girls.

girls who love God.

the house i live in currently is full of girls too.

girls who love God.

only difference is, I don't really know the gals I'm moving in with..  :)   

so this will take some energy.

but that's how it was w/ my current house.

as time goes on you come to love 'em

and they come to love you...  

it all works this way it seems..

which is nice..

got two weddings i'm in this summer.

one in june, one in july.

this summer is prob going to go by quick.

i haven't spent a lot of time w/ the Lord 

these past few days.

just been laying here.

not doing really anything.

i took some stuff out of my closet to get

ready to move, then did laundry.

not sure why i'm writing all this.

i get to start leading some 1 hour devo sets in the prayer room

starting this week.

wed 11pm-12am, thurs 9pm-10pm, fri 9pm-10pm. 

hopefully my throat heals by then..

i'm so excited about this.

super excited actually.

slightly nervous...  but nothing to be nervous about i guess.

it is during the awakening services.

so no cameras, no people.. keeping the fire burning set.

i'm so thankful for this.  

my friend angie will be playing the keys with me.

i'm excited to get our feet wet and start flowing in music together.

i will only be doing these sets until further notice.

so it may be just for couple weeks.

my journey w/ music since i left Teen Mania has been

intense -- but so good..   the Lord has His ways in preparing

a person for things He has promised...  

His way of preparation looks quite different than what some may suppose.

i can share on this as my life goes on... due to the fact that i'm actually still in the prep

stage...     

but to share a tidbit on this topic: 

don't lose heart when your circumstances look opposite

of what the Lord has promised...

it doesn't mean you're less favored, 

it probably confirms that you are favored 

(lisa gottshall said something like that to me one time).  

It's actually His schooling you're going through.

just look at those He set apart in the bible.

promised much but went through long seasons of:

mistreatment, hiding in caves, being in jail, living in the wilderness...

you may find your story looking similar to theirs.

which isn't a bad thing...  almost a confirming thing.

step by step, day by day..

it's a journey.

being faithful to what He put in front of you.

One thing He is trying to produce in you

is that fact that YOU are not your external calling.

many times we let our external calling identify us.

giving us worth.  with it, we feel worth something

with out it, we feel like we are worth nothing.

this is common for human beings.

but something that does not align w/ God's heart.

we are HIS.  we are LOVED...  and we love Him.

this is our identity.  everything else really can be stripped away... everything.

so sometimes in the delay - this false identity is being purged.

which in His kindness is a tool to usher us into finding true identity in Him...

there are other things He is doing in the delay.

that's just one to say the least...

okay - that is all for now.

-court